Friday, March 14, 2008

more rambling

Why is life so unfair
why does it keep crushing me
every time I stand up
what have I ever done
to deserve a life that is
filled more with tears then
laughter and happiness

I don’t dare to be happy
or to feel lucky and good
‘cause I know something
will come my way and
make me cry all over again

I can’t do this anymore
I don’t want to keep
crying and feeling sorry
for myself, I just want
to have a life as everyone else
A life filled with joy,
laughter and happiness
‘cause tears have been
my companion for too long

I can’t keep going on,
not like this, can’t keep
going on anymore.

(c) Me

Posted by Belle at 20:45:26 | Permalink | No Comments »

the rambling is continuing

What’s going on
Why do I feel so lost
I feel like all hope
And faith is gone
And I don’t want
 To go on anymore

I have never been
A quitter
I always got up
On my own
After every storm
But this time
 It seems too hard
To stand on my own, without
Anyone to hold on to

Life is not easy, and
It never will be
But I used to take
On every challenge
With a smile on my face
This time there are
Only tears to be seen there

Where is my strength

Why has it left me now

(c) Me

Posted by Belle at 20:41:53 | Permalink | No Comments »

crazy ramling of 2006

I love you
i really do
but I’m not
gonna let my
life resolve
around you,
not anymore

You’ve taken
too much
time out
of my life
too much
time and
energy have
gone into
loving you

I hate to
love you, but
still I do
you were, are
and forever
will be the
center of
my heart
and life

You say “jump”
I say “how
high”
why do you
keep doing this?
and why do I
always let you
do it?

Even though
my life resolves
around you
you don’t have
to act on it
and crush me
even more


One day I will
free myself
either of you
or of this
world, because
I don’t have
the strength
to go on
anymore

(c) Me

Posted by Belle at 20:32:57 | Permalink | No Comments »

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Wicked - “For good”

This is one of my favorite songs. It says a lot and is my inspiration at some times!

For good – Wicked

I’m limited
Just look at me – I’m limited
And just look at you
You can do all I couldn’t do
So now it’s up to you
For both of us – now it’s up to you

I’ve heard it said
That people come in to our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true
But I know I’m who I am today
Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from the orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You’ll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend…

Like a ship blow from it’s mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a sky bird
In a distant wood
Who can say I’ve been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I’ve done you blame me for
But then, I guess we both know
There’s blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore!

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Like a ship blow from it’s mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

Who can say if I’ve been
 Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
 Changed for the better
And because I knew you

Because I knew you

Because I knew you
I have been changed for good

“This does not belong to me, I don’t take credit for this song.”


 

Posted by Belle at 20:02:10 | Permalink | No Comments »

Friday, March 7, 2008

Lost myself

Can’t understand what’s going on anymore
Life has taken a funny turn
 It has left me thinking about
What I might have done wrong
Since good stuff are not ment
To be for me

Every time I start feeling good
Something comes by and
 Pulls me down again into the darkness
That I have learned to know so well
I feel like I’ve lost myself for real
This time

It scares me to feel the way
 That I feel right now
I’m not the person people
Are used to have around
I’m a sad version of the me
 That people know

I’ve lost myself for real this time
And I don’t wanna feel the way that I do
Because it’s not a place to be in
 At the time when you’re supposed
 To be carefree and have fun
And live a great student life

(c) Me

Posted by Belle at 20:36:51 | Permalink | No Comments »

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Being hurt

You’re afraid
I’ll hurt you the way
you did to me
don’t worry
I am not and
never will be
that selfish
(as selfish as you)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You do not really believe
that I’d do that to you
but you wish I did
so that we’re even
but we are not and
we’ll never be even on this
because I pu you 1st
and you’d never do the
same for me!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I’m not like you
and thankfully
I’ll never be
I have to
remember
thanking my mom
for raising me
the way she did
or else
I might’ve been
a backstabber too!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(c) Me

Posted by Belle at 20:52:41 | Permalink | No Comments »

Autum 2007 (still under construction)

True Friendship, What Is That Really?

friends we are and friends we’ve been
but if friends we’ll stay, will be seen
what you did, was as hurtful
as anything ever before, and it
makes me really think

how can you call me a friend
and then stab me in the back
how can you say you care
and then you’re the one
who gives me pain

have you ever considered
that there are others here
who get hurt by the things you do (your actions)
but keep it inside, so they
don’t end up hurting you

if friends are backstabbers
than i want nothing to do with that
(than i’d rather be alone)
it’s enough to fight enemies
but fighting friends is hard to do
and i don’t wanna be fighting YOU

don’t worry i’m not as revengeful
as you are, and i’d never hurt you
the way that you hurt me
even if that means putting myself
on second place AGAIN
 
(but would you forgive me
for the same mistake you did?)

no you wouldn’t, both
me and you know very well
that you would write me off
and let the time tell
if we’ll ever be friends again

(c) Me

Posted by Belle at 19:06:12 | Permalink | No Comments »

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Words of support in a time of need!

Be strong my dearest little one
What life has in store for you
Is nothing but a little test of
Courage and daring, and we
All know that you’re strong
You’ve been through so much
Already, this is nothing new
Be strong, stay healthy and
Always remember that we all
LOVE YOU!!

(c) Me

Posted by Belle at 22:40:15 | Permalink | No Comments »

My thoughts October, 12th, 2005

Who are we to think that we are better then others? How do we know that we are better? Is it just our need to believe that we are better or is it the fact that we need to put some people down to feel well with ourselves. Why do we think we are better? There are so many people in the world and so many that have gone trough this world before us. The fact that so many have been here once upon the time is intimidating and great. We do need to feel great but how can we feel great when we have never accomplished anything big or great or important. People before us have accomplished great things, without them we would not have electricity, light nor a roof over our heads. But we still think we are great and we really forget the people that are great. The ones that have been here before us, and made this world a better place to live in. Have they really made it a better place for us, or have they just given us their bad and destroyed pieces that we have to pick-up and try to make something useful out of it and than keep living in it.  

The things we cherish today, are not really important. We forget to cherish the things that really matter. Like family, friends, neighbours and colleagues, but the things we really cherish are shoes, purses, clothes and so many other unimportant material things. Why do we have this need for show-off? Why is it so important for us to have better things then our neighbours or even our own family? Is it not better to enjoy life to its fullest with the persons we care about and the people that are around us? Can we not try to live our life like people before us did, thinking that the one thing that matters is not money or something material, but a person near one to care about and who cares back. Life is short and it gets even shorter if we spend it on fighting each other, hate each other and show-off against each other. Would it not be a much better life if we just loved. Love the world, the people in it, the animals in it, the nature and most of all love life itself. Is that to much to ask for?
 
(c) Me
Posted by Belle at 22:34:27 | Permalink | No Comments »

To my gorgous sister & best friend

DADDY’S GIRL
To S.D, my cute sister


The day you were born
I can’t recall since
 I was only two years old
But I remember that
There was no day in my life
That you weren’t there too
Thank you… for being you
And for the chocolate I got
The day you were born
Even though I tell myself
That the chocolate melted my
 Heart away… it’s not true
It were those beautiful big
Brown eyes of yours
One thing I do remember
Is you making daddy happy
I know he loved me too…
But you were his daddy’s girl
And I on the other hand was moms
That’s the thing one still can see
 In you… you are a spit image
 Of DAD, inside and out
You have his tall, slim and
Athletic body
You love sports, he did to
Soccer he played with
 Body, mind and soul, just
The way that you play
Volleyball
You do your work
Fast, clean and perfectly right
So did he, in everything
You might not like to read
Like me and mom do
But don’t despair
 He hated reading too
You are daddy’s girl in
 Every way
You have his eyes, his cheeks
 And his smile, be proud of it
Because I know he would have
Been proud of you in everything
That you do and remember
I Love You!


(c) Me

Posted by Belle at 22:11:28 | Permalink | No Comments »